- can't you see all that stuff's a sideshow? -

courted by the seasons

...Even for me, that's an illogical, fragmented line to have popped out of nowhere on a Sunday afternoon. There's a story there, somewhere (there's always a story; you just have to remember to look.) It's better, perhaps, than

if you could unravel me -
skin and bones and memory

that haunted me for four months - four months! - before realizing that perhaps unraveling isn't the smartest direction.

Five AM on the Yamanote, sandwiched between a stranger's pinstripe and a friend's purse - sandwiched on a train before it was even really morning; welcome to the big city, little girl - getting funny looks for pulling out pen and paper half-conscious and spilling puddles of black ink and really just watching as they formed words. Not caring.

Airing out those words.

And breathing with every witnessed nod or smile as I spoke.

the trick, as it's said, is really to just keep breathing.... ultimately, while we all look for someone to know our deepest secrets, our friends ravel us in - keep us together (and in the process, themselves)

It's (too) easy to categorize. Easy to spot patterns and say why hello there archetype. But then there are blonds who should be redheads and writings of brilliance lacking any traditional chilliness and the archetypes suddenly aren't so failproof and what did you spend four years studying, after all? Art imitates life and vice versa but they are never the same; it's a smoky mirror at best.

You are yourself. I won't make the archetype mistake again, or mistake your sweetness for anything more. We're both saying "listen; hear me" though our mouths mold the words of a saccharine pop song.

It comes of being born in spring and befriended by summer; entranced by autumn and cradled by winter.

Or it would, if it were that simple; as it is, it's a place to start. Perhaps it comes down to rolling stones and soul-families and stamp envy.

Don't worry.


This is not for you.

...Smoke and mirrors, remember?



(Still, take care, and stay warm - spring's on its way, but not quite here.)