Friday, November 21, 2014

- heroes are born; idols are made -

A friend recently posted this image on his Facebook page, and I have to admit I saw red. (Pink?) It's been an interesting year to be a feminist and pay attention to the Internet. I mulled on the image and what it was saying, and while I disagreed immediately with the cute quotes around "crisis" and some of the tone, it does raise an interesting point.



My response proved too lengthy and link-heavy for responding in the comment field of his original post, so:

Thank you for encouraging discussion; it's definitely one worth having, and one that exists both on and offline. (I'd be happy to share links if you're interested?)  I'd argue the male side of the coin is less visible in part because of the standards imposed by both cultural figures (i.e.: "girls are emotional, men are stoic") but no less there.

I went back, originally, to revise "men" to "boys" in that statement - in the sense of the word pairs "girls and boys" vs. "men and women", but maybe it's a fitting slip; toys and pop culture project a youthful girlishness on women, where even boys are expected to be resourceful, mature, and - as He-Man illustrates - built. Heavy expectations.

Back to those standards: by encouraging women to be emotional and expressive, dialogue formed around the toys we grew up with and are now given the option to share with our children/future generations. Unless we're subscribing to a Liefeld model of anatomy, Barbie is unrealistic, yet she's also an interesting starting point for toys with a more positive outlook: recent examples include makers who have created new dolls with more realistic proportions, or the almost instantaneous unofficial rewrites of the "Barbie: Computer Programmer" book where, in the original, she proceeds to break her computer and lets her guy friends fix it. Those are pretty good things to come out of a "crisis." We're also seeing more indie toy companies on the market as a response to this demand, with products that are often appealing to both genders and build on creative and problem-solving skills (Make magazine recently covered a lot of these in their "Best Toys for Makers" issue, and they look awesome.)

"Girl toys" are also an easier target because they're overwhelmingly pink. There's a visual accord that's easier to pick up on and write about, where the rows in the toy store historically attributed to guys tends to have more variety: action figures, and video games, yes, but also board games, Magic cards, Lego, RC cars, scientist kits... Some see the variety available and go "well, it's not perfect, but it's definitely better," and stop there.

Because Barbie is made in a very specific image, and despite her many careers, a pretty shallow one, it's easier to move past her. Conversely, male heroes are drawn with more nuance, so their shadow is harder to emerge from, or notice its effects. Most wouldn't actually want to be Batman/Iron Man (despite the shirts stating the contrary) because their lives suck when you think about it, but these men are and do everything, which is nearly impossible to measure up to. In the words of the Avengers themselves:

Captain America: Big man, in a suit of armour… take that away, what are you?
Iron Man: Uh… a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.

On my best day, I'm only one of those (for better or worse, the last one) and either way, those are some big shoes to even want to aim towards. Add to that, if it wasn't enough, the physical attractiveness of these heroes: Thor's actor is this year's Sexiest Man Alive, too. There's a reason that men's skincare/cosmetics is one of the fastest growing retail fields out there. I've supported friends and mentored kids I volunteer with who've struggled with these images in contrast with their own, and feeling like they didn't measure up. I know that having caring, adventurous, and intelligent family, teachers, and friends helped to shape who I wanted to become; hopefully, I'm passing a bit of that on.

TL;DR?

I think that we, as a society, are still working past the "man up, it's just a picture/toy/whatever" mentality when it comes to self-image and pop culture aimed at boys. We'll see more discussion, and hopefully, positive growth along these lines in the near future. In the meanwhile, it's up to us to make the difference we can in tiny if constructive ways.


music of the moment: golden boy

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

- true, and deep as the sea -

We celebrated one year in San Francisco last week; in the spirit of the Bold Italic list, here are some of the things I've learned along the way:


- Every city jokes that they experience all four seasons in one day; San Francisco is to date the only one I've visited that seems to have a different season on each block you walk. This makes layers a must have and greenhorns easy to spot (often with a bear, "California," or "Alcatraz" on their outer layer.)

- Scarves and boots are worn year-round, for good reason.

- San Francisco will almost always be the coldest place in the Bay Area. The good news? The weather only generally fluctuates between 10-25 C.

- The Financial District is a wind tunnel. Yes, the whole district.

- SF is roughly 7 miles by 7 miles in area; it's walkable. Even if folks only have one day, unless they have an injury or can't walk for other reasons, getting around on your own steam is the best way to see everything the city has to offer.

- Don't call it San Fran or Frisco. Presently, SF or The City, caps and all (i.e.: "Where are you from?" "I'm from The City"), seem the most popular nicknames, though some teenagers/early twenties local I talk/work with will use Frisco.

- I have caught myself calling it "The City." (Eep.)

- Step down, or face the chorus. There's even a t-shirt.

- The hills do get easier with time, but Pacific remains my favorite way to walk up Nob Hill.

- Discovering the Wiggle is nothing short of wonderful.

- I've almost forgotten how to walk in high heels.

- Stay at least one block away from Union Square at all times if you're traveling anywhere fast.

- Piers aren't sequentially numbered, but even numbered south of the Ferry Building (Pier 1) and odd numbered north of it.

- Streets aren't numbered sequentially, either. (Or, they are, but often another street will sneak in between, say, 2nd and 3rd.)

- Watch the sea lions from Pier 41 instead.

- Neighbourhood parks are community centres: key for people-watching, frisbee golf, dog-watching, sun-bathing, reading, chess... Playgrounds are just for kids, though, by city bylaw.

- That said, if you're an unaccompanied adult and miss swing sets, a surprising number of hills and summits in SF have tree swings!  (There is also a block-long concrete slide, but I've only just heard about it.)

- As a people, locals are unapologetically opinionated but generally good-hearted. Everyone has a standpoint, and while it can seem like dogs-vs-kids-vs-tech-vs-artists-vs-development-vs-gentrification-vs-history-vs-everything sometimes, in daily life (and away from the Internet), folks are friendly.

- Bartenders are, largely, fantastic. Knowledgeable, friendly, skilled, happy to strike up a conversation when the bar isn't packed.

- The local strawberry season starts in April!

- There are good views from just about every block in SF. Some take more time to find, is all.


music of the moment: honey and the moon


- strange to see you again -

I haven't written anything, really, since moving to San Francisco.

Maybe it came of shock; the first two months spent in an incredulous, sensory-overload sort of fugue state. Or, to put it more softly, my brain took a while to catch up with the rest of me, after our transcontinental shift.

Maybe it's because this is a city of many voices, and I wasn't certain if mine was more signal or noise.

Perhaps it's because I still feel a little wrapped in bubble wrap myself - after a year as a resident visitor, this is in some ways the most home-less I've ever felt. I live a life that folks would and have killed for: days spent wandering a jeweled coastal metropolis, mild in climate, mostly tolerant in outlook; evenings at the side of the man I love. In many ways, it is a good life; we're making hard to make it so. That doesn't change the fact that all of the signposts and mile markers I'd look to have changed (and are measured in miles, for that matter!)

Maybe what's changed is that, one year in, I'm better able to read the signs.

Regardless, here's to marching forward, and writing again.

 .

 ♥ music of the moment: set yourself on fire (final fantasy edit)