- we go out in stormy weather ; we rarely practice discern -

...San Francisco, I can write - you are a city on full burn; not embers but gold and flame and the flashing blinking colours of a rave.

Since I stepped in this cab I've been composing phrases in my head like I haven't in months: here is Mission and she is a stunning, dark-eyed stranger, but that could be the night and there are murals on the walls we pass - murals and tags, call it as you see it - and uptown mixes with downtown. East, south, turning north by west, and on one of your countless hills, the world is raiding the unknown from the trunk of an abandoned car.

But you name streets for butterflies and your highways resemble nothing so much as they do rollercoasters. You're a city with a whimsy and a deep knowing. Of what I couldn't say; wouldn't - not yet, though the horns sound staccato and the sirens call out around the edges of it. A city of earthquakes, though I'd forgotten that.

Six stories up now, I'm fine with not feeling any - not now. The air, the brick, the skyline on right angles is enough.



(verticality as an art form -
the buildings blend together
in a view without trees
and yet I am breathing)



♥ music of the moment: the way we get by
.

- run for the hills before they burn -

I... am tired.

Tired, but happy. It's been an amazing couple of weeks, an amazing weekend, a great run - lots of good times and special people (in fact, almost all of them; no wonder I'm tired!) - and yet you can almost see the "but" behind my words.

A hesitation - beyond the pyrotechnics and the plane tickets, there feels like there's a change coming. Probably a lot of them!

I wanted an earthquake.

And maybe this is my earthquake - the change in employment, in address (soon!), in heart-state - not least in finding this man who writes of balance and quotes lines of Casablanca (and Finding Nemo; balance, remember?) back at me as we dance around the social politics and out under the stars.

Awake and (if tired) definitely alive.

It's starting to feel like this ground isn't going to stop shifting anytime in the near future.

Now to see if I can shift along with it. Life and the people within it are changing - trusting, stressing, dancing, waiting, confiding - and their words and thoughts chip at my shell that I made to be bulletproof but left weak to compassion; to confidance.

It feels like the start of a movie, where the story can go any which way, and the actors aren't giving away anything to go on. I can live with this, but it makes me itch with curiosity.

With that said, into the labyrinth~!


Also.

LONDON. You get the best concerts ever. Damns, but this would have been fun to be a part of. ♥






♥ music of the moment: this river is wild