- smiled and said 'yes i think we've met before' -

Valentine's Day is always such an interesting time of year.

...I'll reserve comment on the fact that so far, three boyfriends (!) have broken up with me around this festive occasion (what; flowers aren't that expensive! ^_~) but on a positive note, this latest one might just take my hand in friendship, now; one benefit concert, one symphony, and possibly one cd release party tonight later, and... there are no sparks but there's warmth, again. Of course it amused me, meeting his parents for the first time whilst wrapped in half-light and lace at the benefit.

"So, this is the girlfriend you never met," he told them.

(Eloquent, my ex-guy? Well, sometimes. But I liked his parents; his mom with her intelligent eyes and his dad with his smiles and James Dean tie. So it wasn't a wash, though I could have wished for a slightly higher neckline on my shirt of choice that day.)

I dreamt of ex-lovers and never-lovers, last night; those who danced on the periphery and those who have danced on, taking sands from the Valley of Doom and bass solos and books of poetry with them. I dreamt of walking long distances through a world that kept changing; of rickety boardwalks over lagoons haunted by carnivorous fish, of the winding road past a mountain retreat that I love, of a half-abandoned not-quite Tokyo Disneyland, where I followed a friend and never quite seemed to catch up. Pirate ships and carnival rides and people who live half the world away, quite literally. I'm not sure what my head was trying to tell me, but I think it was hinting at peace. As I woke, I was struck with the desire to reach out; to see how they were, where they were, if the stories they were weaving were any closer to finding an ending.

Maybe I will.

But not today.

Today is for lovers, and (oddly, strangely, for once in my life) love's not what I'm seeking.


♥ music of the moment : your ex-lover is dead